Europe is different from when I first lived there in the late 1980s and early 1990s. It was not as superficially wealthy then, although this time I rarely wandered far from where the tourists congregate. On the outside, at least, you would hardly see the rot of debt and welfare-state mismanagement even in Italy and Spain. The people were well dressed. The cafés were expensive but still packed. The cars are fairly new and have shockingly little body damage, when you consider the insanity that overtakes Europeans when they slide behind a steering wheel.
But that’s on the surface. Once you get behind the walls and into interior of the homes, the old cramped shabbiness is still there. All their money goes to clothes, food, and drink, because there’s no room in European apartments for the stuff Americans pack into theirs.Not a McMansion in sight -- what a bunch of losers!
Countless stores will dress women in the latest, most expensive fashions, but few supply the woman who wishes to dress her children. The merchants know their markets, and you need babies to support baby clothes stores. When you walk the streets, you notice the couples with kids—they stand out, and it’s always just one kid.No Duggars in this socialist hellhole, I tell you what.
Even the cabbies sigh that the birth rate is below replacement level. Children are the ultimate luxury item.The Friedman cab driver still lives! Man, Schlichter hates this Europe dump worse than Tyler Cowen and Megan McArdle. Wonder why?
The blood of the likes of Charles Martel no longer runs in the veins of today’s café-dwelling Europeans. They sip coffee and their (excellent) wine and, in Spain, drink their bizarre cerveza/lemonade and rioja/Coca-Cola combinations, oblivious to what’s coming. Perhaps it’s mere ignorance, perhaps it’s a choice. It will end the same way regardless—in blood. When the time comes to choose between picking up a rifle and dying, we’ll find out if the human instinct for self-preservation has successfully been bred out of the men of Europe. I know where I’m putting my money...Ahh, right, they haven't herded their Mooslims into concentration camps so they're worthless and weak. Schlichter's come a ways since he approved Britain at least for its Windsor obsession in his classic "The Royal Baby Is a Rejection of the Family Chaos Liberalism Feeds Upon" column. Now...
Ukraine will fall. The Baltics will fall. Turkey will fall. The Balkans will fall. Europe will fall.
This is the fiesta before the storm, and Europe is busy partying like it’s 1939. These are the New Wilderness Years, except this time the bad guys are going to win.
When you go to a restaurant or a store in or around London, you almost certainly won’t be served by a native Englishman. Often, it’s an Eastern European. Our most frustrating language challenges took place in the United Kingdom. The immigrants do the work, while working-class Londoners apparently stay home and collect dole checks.Even England is full of furriners! All those stupid little countries can go to hell!
He'll get to the same place with America, too, once he gets that bunker built.
Too bad this guy wasn't around in 1453. He could have really waxed eloquent about the fall of Constantinople. Who are Ukraine, the Baltics, and Turkey supposed to fall to, anyway? Isn't Turkey already Islamic? Or is Russia going to invade all of them?
ReplyDeleteA place with young kids, compact apartments, wine, shandies, cafes, no visible poverty and vibrant diversity? SOUNDS HELLISH.
ReplyDeleteHey, can anyone else draw the same conclusion from these two lines:
ReplyDeletethis time I rarely wandered far from where the tourists congregate.
When you walk the streets, you notice the couples with kids—they stand out, and it’s always just one kid.
Are the touristy parts of town the inexpensive parts where the locals with lots of mouths to feed do their shopping, Kurt? It's a pity you already finished your column, 'cause there's nothing like watching a conservative own-goal. Thanks, buddy!
ps:I look forward to your column on how the lack of giant pickup trucks and SUVs in Europe means they've already capitulated to the commie Greens, instead of what actually happened, which is taxing the hell out of imported fuel to stave off dependency.
Chic baby/child clothing shops in Madrid:
ReplyDeleteEl Tintero Ninos
Pasito Doble
Gocco
Nicoli
Mothercare
Neck and Neck
Petite Bateau
Hollilster
This guy HATES STUFF SO MUCH
ReplyDeleteI am this reading while in London. I travel to Europe frequently, and I have no idea what he's talking about. I'm just oblivious, or maybe he's just full of shit?
ReplyDeleteChildren are the ultimate luxury item.
ReplyDeleteWell gosh, I went to Europe in the mid-80s and one of the first things I remember seeing in Paris were the signs with a close up of a cute little baby and a message reading "France a besoin des bebes." (France needs babies.)
That was my first encounter with the concept of birth rates that were too low to sustain a country's population. I went back in the early 90s and France at least was still worried about its baby deficit.
So there was a very brief baby boom while was there. Or this douche is a frigging liar.
Europe is different from when I first lived there in the late 1980s and early 1990s. It was not as superficially wealthy then, although this time I rarely wandered far from where the tourists congregate.
Huh? When was he in Europe and when did he visit and when did he rarely wander from tourist traps?
Once you get behind the walls and into interior of the homes, the old cramped shabbiness is still there.
Still there from when he was there the last time or still there from ... Oh forget it. Europe sucks and is going to be taken over by Visigoths (again), serve them right!
“Please talk more about how you hate Europe and bicycles.”
ReplyDeletehttp://swansonquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/s07-ep11-eurotrash1-1000x500.jpg
Immigrants work crappy service jobs in Europe?! We can only pray such terrors never come to America.
ReplyDeleteAnd how does he know they aren't tourists?
ReplyDeleteAlso, as always - Neocons "noticing" kids burns out the creepometer.
Once you get behind the walls and into interior of the homes, the old cramped shabbiness is still there.
ReplyDeleteAt least our infrastructure is crumbling out in the open for all to see, like God intended.
Well, try being more American. The right way.
ReplyDeleteThe blood of the likes of Charles Martel no longer runs in the veins of today’s café-dwelling Europeans.
ReplyDeleteThat could be because it all ran out on battlefield Europe over the centuries for fuck all.
Or is he trying to say no one wants the feudalism to go along with the pretty castles?
All their money goes to clothes, food, and drink, because there’s no room in European apartments for the stuff Americans pack into theirs.
ReplyDeleteLOOK AT MY KIDS ONE MORE TIME
ReplyDeleteSo in short; douche goes round tourist hotspots, is shocked that he sees lots of foreigners but few settled families. I myself was shocked when I visited America to find it almost completely deserted, patrolled by sinister men calling themselves 'rangers' and overrun by bears!
ReplyDeleteYou don't understand! Their apartments are so small, they would have to choose between the NFL and the AFL when deciding which set of collectible commemorative plates to display!
ReplyDeleteMeh. The vast majority of the world is basically South Carolina fed into a copy machine.
ReplyDelete"Our most frustrating language challenges took place in the United Kingdom."
Mine too, but it was always the Brits speaking "English" that gave me trouble.
although this time I rarely wandered far from where the tourists congregate.As opposed to back in the late 1980s and early 1990s, when Kurt lived just like the natives, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteAll their money goes to clothes, food, and drink, because there’s no room in European apartments for the stuff Americans pack into theirs.Yet another sign of Europe's abandonment of Christianity, and with it Jesus' admonition to accumulate as many possessions as humanly possible.
Even the cabbies sigh that the birth rate is below replacement level.Yeah, at this rate, who knows when we'll hit 10 billion.
I know where I’m putting my money...Really, Kurt? Because if you're actually expecting the Muslim horde to conquer the entire European continent, I'll take a piece of that action.
When you go to a restaurant or a store in or around London, you almost certainly won’t be served by a native Englishman. Often, it’s an Eastern European.Why do you hate capitalism, Kurt?
The immigrants do the work, while working-class Londoners apparently stay home and collect dole checks.No, no, Kurt, there simply aren't enough working-class "native" Londoners to go around. Not enough children, remember? I'm pretty sure there was a recent article mentioning that in The Federalist.
"When you go to a restaurant or a store in or around London, you almost
ReplyDeletecertainly won’t be served by a native Englishman. Often, it’s an Eastern
European."
Most right-wing cranks only have enough time in their day to be rancidly nativist about their own country. It's nice to see that The Federalist has employed people determined to keep other countries ethnically pure as well! Though it does make me wonder why Mollie Hemingway has to outsource this sort of bile from Berlin rather than getting an American to do the work. "Schlichter" is, after all, a German onomatopoeia for the sound a dildo makes when being used for its intended function.
He's playing to his audience, which wants to believe this shit about shabby flats.
ReplyDeleteThe few Americans left after some strange apocalypse huddled around simple fires eating frozen, dried remnants of food hastily made edible by boiling water.
ReplyDeleteWhat is he doing in their homes anyway? Who would invite him in? Perhaps it was shabby because they didn't know he was coming.
ReplyDeleteIt's a two prong invasion, Russia from the north and east, Isis from the east and south. Europe will be trapped in a giant double envelopment and will suffer years of darkness until Putin and Isis inevitably quarrel over the distribution of revenues from sex slaves.
ReplyDeleteGenerally my most entertaining language challenges are when the French attempt to pronounce words in English in a manner that makes sense only to the French. But still these are often French of the sang pur, directly descended from Charles Martel and stray Belgians, and so it is hard to see how tossing out immigrants is going to solve that particular problem.
ReplyDeleteSo he was in "Europe". Where? I read the whole damn thing and it reduces to "Bellllch!" It clearly isn't any of the places I've seen in my living room the last 2 weeks watching LeTour. It's more like he was in a hotel room near an airport watching "National Lampoon's European Vacation".
ReplyDeleteOh well. At least he didn't throw a dog off the Eiffel Tower.
It doesn't SAY he didn't.
ReplyDeleteJust say white children, Kurt. You're among friends here.
ReplyDeleteBears with guns, per our great Second Amendment right to arm bears.
ReplyDeleteThis is the fiesta before the storm, and Europe is busy partying like it’s 1939. These are the New Wilderness Years, except this time the bad guys are going to win.
ReplyDeleteShit, dude, if you're going to complain about anything, why complain about people eating french fries with fucking mayonnaise? I mean, let's get real here.
ReplyDeleteAnd those goddamn Royales with Cheese.
ReplyDelete"Cramped, shabby apartment" = charming flat in historic building
ReplyDelete"superficially wealthy" = not cramming their lives full of useless crap from China instead of eating out with friends
"immigrants do the work, while working-class Londoners apparently stay home and collect dole checks" = I am an ignorant asshole
Visit Yurp.
ReplyDeleteStay in tourist country.
Daydream of the parts of Yurp you can't see from there.
Compare that daydream with previous daydreams you've had.
Type up comparison, mail off to the Federalist.
Profit!
I wouldna broke my back in construction for 30 fuckin' years if I'd known about this racket. I coulda gone to a shrink, had my intellectual (and all other sorts of) honesty removed, and had it made. So simple, like the smash-n-grab, it plumb evaded me...
Who says you need to visit Yurp? Just mock up some receipts for your expense account and you can skip those first two steps. Yeah, it's technically fraud, but as we're seeing today, crime is the way Republicans communicate, including with each other.
ReplyDeleteI assume he's peering in through their windows, searching for children. Kurt Schlichter might be one of those grim Germanic folk-tales, like the Krampus or der schwarze Mann.
ReplyDeleteIt's always good to judge a country by not wandering far from where the tourists congregate.
ReplyDeleteLove the outdated (for at least a quarter century) stereotype of Europeans as crazy drivers, combined with total ignorance of the fact that many European countries require you to repair body damage to your car -- nanny state horror!
Apropos of nothing, I find myself wondering with what frequency the Paris Police make arrests for peeing off said Tower...
ReplyDeleteAmazingly, when you go to stores and restaurants in or around America, you are hardly ever served by a Native American. Often, it's a European.
ReplyDeleteHow do you say "sheeple" in European?
ReplyDeleteWhen you go to a restaurant or a store in or around London, you almost certainly won’t be served by a native Englishman. Often, it’s an Eastern European.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you hate capitalism, Kurt?
Please, nobody tell him what's happened to the great American porn industry.
Le sheeple.
ReplyDeleteAnd body shops. Plenty of body shops.
ReplyDeleteThat's an...odd direction to take the conversation. I like where you head is at.
ReplyDeleteDie Schafe Menschen.
ReplyDeleteWalked right into that one!
ReplyDeleteYou'll have a lot of fun trying to drive a giant P.U. or S.U.V. in a city street dating from the middle ages when if two horses could pass each other it was wide enough.
ReplyDeleteKirchturm.
ReplyDeleteI was in Europe in the late '80s-early '90s period as well, as a student, and I remember this guy, or at least his brother by another mother. He was the one who wore a different designer Cosby sweater every day of the week. Wherever we went I could hear him telling the Europeans, in witheringly patronizing tones, "Oh, you live in an apartment? In America we all have houses. One house for winter and a separate one for summer. And we all have cars, too. My family has six cars. How many cars do you have?" This, to people living in what had two months earlier been the Soviet Union.
ReplyDeleteAnd then he and his jerky friends would get drunk on cooking sherry in the back of our student tour bus, because they were such fucking idiots they couldn't figure out that we were in Europe and could legally drink anytime we wanted. Or maybe they were just indicating America's superiority by barfing on the side of every road in Eastern Europe while the rest of us rolled our eyes and prayed the bus would forget them at the next stop.
Once you get behind the walls and into interior of the homes, the old cramped shabbiness is still there.Uh-huh. And if they had granite countertops, he'd be bleating about it all coming at the expense of the productive class.
ReplyDeleteToo bad this guy wasn't around in 1453.Yeah, he'd have shut the fuck up by now.
ReplyDeleteHelp! Europe is about to be overrun by violent religious fanatics! Who AREN'T Charles Martel!
ReplyDeleteThe nerve of these Europeans! They're so UNAMERICAN!
ReplyDeleteIn my days (sez the old wretch) the veddy late '60s, if you possessed a carte de nombreuses familles (Big Family Card) you could sit in reserved seats on the Métro. Still in use, a numerous family is defined as three or more under 18.
ReplyDeleteThe card & general breeding encouagement is a result of the slaughter of potential breeders during WWI.
the slaughter of potential breeders during WWI
ReplyDeleteAt least it took a war to do it there, not just five black-robed, unelected judges.
Gog & Magog, right?
ReplyDeleteOn the outside, at least, you would hardly see the rot of debt and welfare-state mismanagement even in Italy and Spain.
ReplyDeleteI guess he figured that all that socialism would mean streets paved with homeless people and every alley piled high with the bodies of people killed by government-provided healthcare. Quelle domage!
All their money goes to clothes, food, and drink, because there’s no room in European apartments for the stuff Americans pack into theirs.
So, because people in Europe refuse to live like the subjects of Hoarders: Buried Alive! and do not cram their homes with mountains of useless consumer shit, that's somehow a failing of government?
I want to meet Schlicter. I'm sure that 15 minutes would allow me to liberate 15% or more of his net worth as his reasoning abilities make him a prime customer for this bag of magic beans I've been holding onto. Or maybe he'd like this Philosopher's Stone I found next to my front walk.
Schlichter briefing his editors at the Federalist about his trip to Europe.
ReplyDeleteI prefer Grog and Eggnog.
ReplyDeleteI thought sheeple was feminine. Or at least emasculated masculine.
ReplyDeleteIt must be, uh, interesting to live in a world in which every fucking thing you don't like is the apocalypse. It's a wonder these idiots don't keel over from adrenal failure.
ReplyDelete"It will end the same way regardless—in blood."
ReplyDeleteChrist, these jerks literally can't walk down the street without hauling out their pretentious Doomspeak and announcing a prediction which will, inevitably, prove wrong. WHAT will "end in blood," you nitwit? "Europe"? Get a real job, Kurt.
When I visited Paris, we took the Metro - a bus- to our hotel from the train station. We went down a city street that appeared to completely dedicated to shops for children's stuff, even a "Kid'sGap". I said "Oh what a good idea, all the kids clothes & toys in the same place instead of scattered around a mall!" Oh how those Parisiens despise children!
ReplyDeleteAs your nym implies.
ReplyDeleteMay not be typical of entire nation. But this is.
ReplyDeleteThe only flaw in your plan is that you completely lack the pinched worldview needed to write complete bullshit like the conservative greats.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I misread cerveza and lemonade as brains and lemonade--must have been thinking about the fetal shakes they are serving up here in the good old US of A. It did give me a bit of a turn.
ReplyDeletePetit Bateau! Their stuff is cute. Or was 15 years ago.
ReplyDeleteGlug glug!!
ReplyDeleteHey you should go eat at Moro and then try this other new restaurant I'm dying to try Berber Q. And report back. Eating vicariously is a kind of thrill, even though not as much fun as eating, you know, for yourself.
ReplyDeleteJohn McCain sees things differently. https://youtu.be/rWOZKeOauNI
ReplyDelete"Once you get behind the walls and into interior of the homes, the old cramped shabbiness is still there."
ReplyDeleteGuess he's never been in an average US home or apartment. Its not like on TV! Houses are cramped and shabby, with huge TV sets on the wall, and Huge refrigerators stuffed with junk food (this proves they aren't poor).
. . . even though not as much fun as eating, you know, for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think the kids call it eating IRL these days.
In France they call them Frite De Liberte.
ReplyDeleteIn honor of your comment I have finally turned my avatar from faceless blue outline to something else.
ReplyDeleteI just hope he stays away from New York.
ReplyDeleteDidn't you hear, Planned Parenthood just bought a chain of European Cafes.
ReplyDeleteSAUCY.
ReplyDelete"I rarely wandered far from where the tourists congregate"
ReplyDelete"Countless stores will dress women in the latest, most expensive fashions, but few supply the woman who wishes to dress her children. "
Tourist areas filled with expensive boutique stores? How strange!
Well,there are banlieus. And in Sweden the Roma are in slums. Its not all lovely pre-war apartments.
ReplyDeleteUkraine will fall. The Baltics will fall. Turkey will fall. The Balkans will fall. Europe will fall.
ReplyDeleteSo then what's the problem? If Schlichter's right Europe will fall in the Islamocaust and all the faggy Europeans will get slaughtered. And yet he seems depressed or something.
I am a vegetarian online but in meat space I am an omnivore.
ReplyDeleteYer spelin' it rong: it's Glugg
ReplyDeleteI prefer this one --- Hitler tries to rent an apartment in San Francisco.
ReplyDelete"Everyone who works for Google leave the room at once."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53GcLx1JLXY&list=RD53GcLx1JLXY#t=0
O.K., O.K., Trump does have a point about shitty leadership in America:
ReplyDeleteKurt Schlichter is a retired Army colonel who holds a masters in strategic studies from the U.S. Army War College. He is also a trial lawyer and a writer. The views expressed here are his own.
That tends to be a characteristic of Paris in general, the shops for a given product or service tend to be close to each other. I had a friend who went to this area to get some sheet music for chamber ensembles and the like and there were stores that also made and repaired wind instruments there as well.
ReplyDeleteFries, freedom or otherwise, are best w/ blue cheese dressing.
ReplyDeleteI believe the theory behind that kind of same-shop kind of district (or restaurant row) was what Krugman won his Nobel explaining.
ReplyDeleteWhen an ISIS sympathizer decapitated his coworker and stuck his head on a factory gate in Grenoble, France, I was about 100 miles away. ...
ReplyDeleteThese atrocities seemed to create barely a stir, ... Current British Prime Minister David Cameron can’t even work up a lather sufficient to convincingly commit to few tentative airstrikes somewhere down the road.
A psycho decapitated his coworker, and they didn't even bomb Syria.
They didn't even bomb Grenoble.
ReplyDeleteIt's not as funny with La.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he'll get to say I TOLDJA SO all day long. Seems like a giant wet dream for these racist bastards
ReplyDeleteau contraire, la is very funny. I will now win this argument by putting my fingers in my ears and chanting la la la la la la until you give up and admit I'm right.
ReplyDeleteAlong with a few Lamborghinis.
ReplyDeleteVirtual vegetables? Do they need a high-speed internet connection in order to cook properly?
ReplyDeleteChildren are the ultimate luxury item? In countries with socialized health care, mandatory paid family leave, and free K-college education? Whaaaat?
ReplyDeleteI actually clicked over and read the whole thing. The number of times he observes something and then asserts the exact opposite is genuinely breathtaking. For instance, he sees a lot fewer cops with submachine guns standing around (compared to the 1980s) and considers it proof, not of improved security and stability, but of Europe's weakness and rot. He's also really angry that ISIS atrocities meant to provoke Europeans into overreaction aren't, in fact, provoking Europe into overreaction. The fact that he doesn't see very many immigrants is just proof that Europe is swarming with immigrants. Families with kids are noticeable everywhere, which is proof that Europe's birthrate is collapsing. People wear nice clothes and eat out a lot and drive nice cars, which just shows how close to collapse the economy is. And on and on and on. It's a truly remarkable anti-argument.
I rarely wandered far from where the tourists congregate......But...Once you get behind the walls and into interior of the homes.
ReplyDeleteSo he admits he doesn't know anything about the way European people live, and then he claims to know what their homes are like?
? Isn't it a single linguistic zone? Oh well, how about ŝafo homoj
ReplyDeleteThis is same guy who can't understand why ritzy tourist and entertainment districts have more cafes full of nicely-dressed young people and expensive boutiques than places to buy bulk quantities of baby formula and disposable diapers.
ReplyDeleteIf these Euros weren't so decadent and soft, they'd tear the Pompidou Center down and replace it with a Sam's Club.
When we were last in London visiting our kid, he took us to a restaurant that specialized in New England style lobster rolls. It just seemed totally wrong!!!
ReplyDeleteIn the next breath, he excoriates European women for shopping for the latest fashions.
ReplyDeleteMango Puzzler: Can you count all the falsehoods in this paragraph?
ReplyDeleteIf you care to remember your history (before the fascist left got a hold of it and "revised" it, that is) the intellectual forefathers of the Euroleft and the American left were praising Hitler and calling Churchill a "drunken, imperialistic warmonger". In fact that is when that phrase was first used. They hailed Chamberlain as a saint and a hero for bending over and letting Hitler publicly schtup him. He should've worn a T shirt that said "I let Hitler cornhole me and all I got was this lousy piece of paper" Peace in our time! Yeah baby! If you care to remember your history the American left tried desperately to keep the U.S. isolated and out of the war right up until Hiler invaded the Soviet Union. After that they were all for it.
Le Tour: the 3 week period where my non-sports watching husband becomes a TV zombie, and I join him, mostly for view of the countryside and to be voyeur who wishes we lived in Europe.
ReplyDeleteWith these guys, more like Comic Con 4.
ReplyDeleteLondon, especially, took shit for a long, long time over bland, starchy British food that disproving that reputation has now become an obsession with them (and, of course, there's the economic benefit of people being more willing to pay the quite large cost of hotels there and going to plays, etc., if the food is good). So I would expect a lot of variety competing for restaurant dollars.
ReplyDeletethe American left were praising Hitler and calling Churchill a "drunken,
ReplyDeleteimperialistic warmonger". In fact that is when that phrase was first
used.
According to the Goog, the first time that phrase was used -- and indeed the only time -- was in a comment from an anonymous chickensh1t wingnut attributing it to liberals.
Turkey will fall.
ReplyDeleteTurkey is part of Europe now? I wonder how it is going to fall. Perhaps the Turks will be forced to convert to Islam.
Or the Dutch Santa, who threatens children with mayhem and generally abuses them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's why he was disappointed at not seeing lots of children around.
I guess this is a bunch of fascist left revisionism, and FDR actually tried to keep us out of WWII?
ReplyDeletehttps://history.state.gov/milestones/1921-1936/neutrality-acts
~
Not to pile on, but I'm pretty sure a northern attack by communist radioactive Laplanders also figure prominently in his fever dream.
ReplyDeleteTrue, but since it's plural you can't tell by the article . . . I think. Les shéeple?
ReplyDeleteUkraine will fall. The Baltics will fall. Turkey will fall. The Balkans will fall.
ReplyDeleteBut no-one will notice, for the Ukrainians, Estonians, Serbs and Croats have all moved to England to work in restaurants and building sites.
WEAKNESS
ReplyDeleteYou Esperantists should go back home to Esperanza.
ReplyDeleteOnce you get behind the walls and into interior of the homes, the old cramped shabbiness is still there. All their money goes to clothes, food, and drink, because there’s no room in European apartments for the stuff Americans pack into theirs.
ReplyDeleteSo. The problem with socialism is not so much high-faultin' policy arguments, but that ducking spoiled man-children might be denied their electronic bacon schnifters.
All rights then.
Already there, Clyde - greetings from Portland! http://esperanzaspalding.com/mobile/
ReplyDeleteThey just don't understand that culture is not five hundred year old buildings and masterwork art as much as it is Cheez-Whiz, licensed toy lines and Disney steering wheel covers.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I thought white European guys were the basis of all that's good and pure, the way assmongering cultural critics.keep telling us.
ReplyDeleteDoes it only count if they've been dead for a couple hundred years?
London and New York are probably comparably sized (haven't checked lately), but I rarely hear anyone talking about the spaciousness of New York apartments outside of real estate ads directed at the indecently wealthy. So, overall, this is a distinction without a difference, except that the New York rats are bigger and better fed.
ReplyDeleteAs for slums, no, I don't think Schlicter would venture anywhere near them, certainly because they're full of those people. At least in the European slums he'd discover that there were more and better bicycles... which he would undoubtedly ascribe to festering decadence.
White guys might get hurt.
ReplyDeleteFucking Europeans... errr, scratch that.
ReplyDeleteOf course, dumbass doesn't take into consideration population density. Europe just doesn't have the vast tracts of wilderness that the US does. Also, I highly suspect that any European invited him in for any reason.
ReplyDeleteI detect the whiff of a verisimilitude of real life in these anecdotal recollections. Nothing hypothetical here, I suspect.
ReplyDeleteOh, I have the feeling that, as a snack, they might be going after Ireland soon. Bailing out the Anglo-Irish Bank apparently didn't do quite enough societal damage.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, if I has an expense account, I'd probably have an intern--seeing as how they, ahem cost a bit less--and then I could skip *all* the steps. Except that last one. That's important. Also, I'd have to learn to fart...
ReplyDeleteIf we include random acts of violence by white supremacists and looney gun nuts as terrorism, I would guess that our rate is higher than that of any country in Europe, or several of them combined, and yet, they're in imminent danger of collapse. And that's ignoring that the worst single act of terrorism in the last generation was directed at us.
ReplyDeleteOne of the truly pernicious effects of projection is that it allows one to ignore a problem.
"The views expressed here are his own."
ReplyDeleteLet me guess why no one else wants to share them.
Christ, what an asshole.
ReplyDeleteI thought I might be missing a diaeresis.
ReplyDeleteSee your doctor immediately.
And, yet, according to some parts of the British press, yes, Cameron has ordered bombing Syria and Iraq, and without the permission of the Parliament.
ReplyDeleteSo, Schlicter not only is conflating a domestic crime in France with international war, he's uninformed about what Current British Prime Minister David Cameron is actually doing.
Why am I not surprised? I'm betting this bozo is gunning for Col. Ralph Peters' job at Fox.
Cafe monde du foetus.
ReplyDeleteTry the snowflake latte!
Grog and McGrog? A bushmill's/Guiness boilermaker?
ReplyDeletePerhaps it’s mere ignorance, perhaps it’s a choice. It will end the same way regardless—in blood. When the time comes to choose between picking up a rifle and dying, we’ll find out if the human instinct for self-preservation has successfully been bred out of the men of Europe. I know where I’m putting my money...
ReplyDeleteUkraine will fall. The Baltics will fall. Turkey will fall. The Balkans will fall. Europe will fall...
"And then," he said, holding the flashlight under his chin and pointing it up, casting ghastly shadows upon his face, "the dead will rise from their eternal slumber to roam the blasted hellscape and feast upon the flesh of the living..."
Schlichter clearly missed his calling. He rivals Roger Corman for schlock value.
Clearly the kind of moronic douche who calls the French "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" while totally forgetting a guy called Napoleon.
ReplyDeleteMango Puzzler
ReplyDeleteThat Adelie Manchot common-tater is quite a find, Gocart; sufficiently crazed and hyperventilaty that it's hard to tell her from a parodist.
She used to have a blog, but now only the Wayback Machine version remains:
https://web.archive.org/web/20111228162931/http://adeliemanchot.wordpress.com/
I find terribly funny the assertion that Henry Ford and the chairman of GM (who were receiving awards from Hitler for their service to the Third Reich) were "the intellectual forefathers of the... American left."
ReplyDeleteAnd that the "American left tried desperately to keep the U.S. isolated and out of the war...." I seem to recall that the America First movement, Lindbergh and assorted and sundry Republicans wanted up out of the war because of a sympathy toward Hitler and Germany. The lefties thought we shouldn't be fighting anyone.
This guy has to have done his Master's thesis on Cleon Skousen.
Very well played.
ReplyDeleteWe were just there and the food, even the fast food, was really good.
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me he's basically full of shit. The German homes I visited when I lived there in the 80s were neither cramped nor shabby. I suspect the same is true across Europe.
ReplyDeletea retired Army colonel who holds a masters in strategic studies from the U.S. Army War College.
ReplyDeleteI bet his European scenarios were a sight to behold. "This proves conclusively that Patton should have been allowed to push through to the Pacific! Then it'd be our damn world, see! Every bit of it American! A final solution to those pesky foreigns!" begins laughing like Renfield
(I know some War College folk. I find his Masters claim to be a bit on the smelly side.)
Guy can work an Old Testament vibe, can't he?
ReplyDeleteIgnorance Abroad
ReplyDeleteI'm skeptical but open-minded.
ReplyDeleteor, The New Dipshits' Progress
ReplyDeletebleu curious?
ReplyDeleteI though the Domino Theory was disproved about 40 years ago.
ReplyDeleteIt was either that or just repeat `They're all fags!' N times, where N = ceil(minimum_word-count/3)
ReplyDelete---which he didn't do because math is too faggy.
All Federalist columns should have zombie endings.
ReplyDeleteIt was either that or just repeat `They're all fags!' N times, where N = ceil(minimum_word-count/3)
ReplyDelete---which he didn't do because math is too faggy.
Sophia Loren has vast tracts of land and she is European. Refudiate that !
ReplyDeleteAnd he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is
ReplyDeletefallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold
of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird.
Or Tone-Deafcon 4.
ReplyDeleteAnd the coffee is really expensive.
ReplyDeleteAs always, Google "premature anti-Fascist" I found this interesting essay just now. http://www.english.illinois.edu/maps/scw/knox.htm
ReplyDelete"The Professor, who had himself served in the US Army in 1917-18, was very interested, and remarked on the fact that, in addition to the usual battle-stars for service in the European Theatre, I had been awarded a Croix de Guerre a l'Ordre de l'Armée, the highest category for that decoration. Asked how I got it, I explained that, in July 1944, I had parachuted, in uniform, behind the Allied lines in Brittany to arm and organize French Resistance forces and hold them ready for action at the moment most useful for the Allied advance. "Why were you selected for that operation?" he asked, and I told him that I was one of the few people in the US Army who could speak fluent, idiomatic, and (if necessary) pungently coarse French. When he asked me where I had learned it, I told him that I had fought in 1936 on the northwest sector of the Madrid front in the French Battalion of the XIth International Brigade. "Oh," he said, "You were a premature anti-Fascist."
Worth reading the whole thing.
May I suggest a more American drink, like GLUG
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IE0CgxgIYI
Erupt into a Bevrage!
Does it come in a squirt bottle?
ReplyDeleteThe classics never die...
ReplyDeleteHe can join Terence Stamp in lamenting the de-Englification of England, although I'm surprised neither of them has as yet uttered the traditional cry of "THE MAHOMETANS ARE COMING FOR OUR BEER !ELEVENTY!!" as is usual under such circumstances (and, I thought, required if Charles "the Hammer is my Penis" Martel is invoked...)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/jul/20/terence-stamp-english-is-a-foreign-language-in-london
Good god its Magog brothers, Atlantis Carpet Reclaimers, serving Hooker, Heater, Hellmouth, and the low desert area.
ReplyDeleteFall? Fall to whom?
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, though, the French haven't had a winning season since they fired Coach Napoleon.
ReplyDeleteOh you know. The Mooslim Hordes of ISIS.
ReplyDeleteEggzactly! Watching all these tiny towns with 0 sprawl that end in beautiful fields and wooded mountains I howl with regret at how we've turned our truck farms into endless subdivisions with 2 acre zoning & walk scores of 4.
ReplyDeleteEven his kids ask him if he's found Fegelein yet...
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YLqC3DIgjY
This is the fiesta before the storm
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a Fête worse than death.
A LOL before the storm.
It happens everywhere.
ReplyDeleteThe English aren't really white because they drink tea. Real white people only drink coffee.
ReplyDeleteMadrid in 1970 seemed as if every other guy was in a uniform of some sort, & about half those uniformed had sub-machine guns. He just misses Franco.
ReplyDeleteIt was his boss, not a co-worker. Perfectly excusable.
ReplyDeleteOverrun by the resurgent Ottoman Empire, one presumes.
ReplyDeleteSo is the War College a notorious party school?
ReplyDeleteIf he were not such a pussy, Obama would have sent a letter to Ankara by now, pledging America's support against the Mohammedan hordes.
ReplyDeleteI have been wandering around the house tacking the phrase "—in BLOOD!" to the end of every sentence to see how it sounds.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how satisfying it is, but the cats are giving me the stink-eye. In BLOOD!.
Didn't Ralph Spoilsport have a dealership there too?
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing those posters too. 1986.
ReplyDeleteDavid Sedaris has the best telling of Dutch Santa ever. I listen to it every Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI guess this explains why "Hoarders: Europe" hasn't shown up on TLC.
ReplyDeleteOr as one of you wags put it recently, Derp-con 4.
ReplyDeleteI can haz Fiesto Burge
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of slums and cramped flats in North America, too. Not all pre-war apartments are lovely!
ReplyDeleteSome are even in Canada:
http://www.therecord.com/news-story/5731734-tenants-cleared-out-of-troubled-kitchener-building/
and the followup, as slumlords follow the bossa nova principle:
http://www.therecord.com/news-story/5743101-troubled-apartment-building-may-have-new-owner/
Wretched creatures, they can't even afford cars!
ReplyDeletethey are using concealed carry in their stolen pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi "Pretty Boy" Bear, Jellystone knew him well, every crime in Wyoming was added to his name, but his pic-a-nic basket had a Christmas dinner for the families on relief
ReplyDeleteI've read that--in fact, probably a couple of dozen years ago. His medical examination for service is interesting--and I suspect that's one of his key points--that the doctor simply sneered, "for the Commies, eh?," which I'm sure Knox could have disabused him of with a little time, since the Communist Brigade ended up being almost as fierce in putting down the forces of the elected government as was Franco. That it was American communists and socialists who largely made up the Lincoln Brigade--out of a sense of solidarity and egalitarianism--made it all the more complicated. (There were more than a few whose opinion of the Soviets and Stalin changed abruptly after seeing the Communists at work in Spain.)
ReplyDeleteBut, it's well to mind Knox's comments on the effects of the Non-Intervention Treaty, which effectively stacked the deck in favor of the Fascists, that non-intervention was an easy way of support for fascism.
Oh no, really? He won a Nobel for noticing medieval traditions in city planning? Please be joking!
ReplyDeleteI saw it attempted, once, in Rome. I don't know what the outcome was, but it looked (from a safe distance!) like an elephant trying to push its way through a wildebeest stampede.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it’s mere ignorance, perhaps it’s a choice. It will end the same way regardless—in blood. When the time comes to choose between picking up a rifle and dying, we’ll find out if the human instinct for self-preservation has successfully been bred out of the men of Europe.
ReplyDeleteUm, Kurt? I get that you just want to turn the world into one big, happy, heat-packing paradise like Texas, but keep in mind that your name is "Kurt Schlicter". You may be reinforcing some old stereotypes about people with names that sound like that.
Not if you want authentic blue cheese chunks it doesn't!
ReplyDelete...instead of just zombie authors.
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, on my brief touristy sojourns in major European cities, I managed to spy dozens of families out for walks with small children, some in strollers, enjoying the outdoors and their neighbors.
ReplyDeleteOf course these weren't very fancy neighborhoods, because I could only afford hostels and not the sort of hotels that get listed in guidebooks, but they were friendly and populous, and nobody seemed to be afraid to take their children out in the evening, even though this was during one of the earlier periods of Muslim Panic among conservative pundits...
Bears with guns? I'm sure some cities have gay-friendly rifle ranges.
ReplyDeleteYou try to live next to a Germany pissed-off because you conquered them and broke their nice ghetto walls.
ReplyDeleteHe could hide in New Braunfels to blend in. Their ancestors came here to escape German religious wars and they could tell him where to put his gun.
ReplyDelete... one hopes....
ReplyDeleteYou may be reinforcing some old stereotypes about people with names that sound like that.
ReplyDeleteI seem to recall that those folks also did a lot of fretting about warfare and the manliness supposedly derived therefrom.
Ol' Kurt doesn't seem to understand that "Europe" made a decision quite a while ago (notwithstanding the current actions of the world's bankers and the German government) to depend upon cooperation, rather than war, after having spent much of the 20th century fighting wars in Europe or trying to recover from them.
ReplyDeleteBut, then, there's much our Col. Schlicter doesn't seem to understand, it seems.
My Turkish colleague is one of the most strident people you will ever meet when it comes to defending the separation of church -- or mosque -- and state, saying "I am a Moslem, but religion DOES NOT BELONG in government!"
ReplyDeleteOf course, I don't think that this chap Schlichter is complaining about religious conservatives getting control of a secular state -- wait, what country were we talking about, again? I think he only sees it as a problem when it's Islamic conservatives pushing a misogynist, anti-evolution agenda in government, not a general problem everywhere and anywhere like my friend...
Saw a guy w/ an early '60s two-door Impala convertible make his way through a street three blocks from the Seine in the Latin Quarter i.e., a street whose width was probably established in the 13th or 14th century, in a hood where even the tiny Euro-cars had to park halfway on the sidewalk on one-way sts. so other cars could get by.
ReplyDeleteSlow going, but he didn't mind as it attracted plenty of attention.
"superficially wealthy" = not cramming their lives full of useless crap from China instead of eating out with friends
ReplyDeleteYeah, he does seem to find the idea of spending money on just enjoying life to be somewhat alien.
Well, Turkey is a secular state -- and has been such for almost a century now -- that has been recently having a lot of problems with religious conservatives trying to push a sexist, nationalist, anti-science agenda as part of their fig-leaf for widespread graft and corruption siphoning public funds and lands to cronies and lobbyists, so you'd think they'd be just fine with that. Except that the religious conservatives with the reactionary mindset are Moslem.
ReplyDeleteOh, right, "Street of the Whatever-Sellers", in, like, every medieval bourg/sword & sorcery pulp.
ReplyDelete[Whacks head w/ side of broadsword]